How to turn fear into a transferrable skill?

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

In today’s article I was going to write about the tips how to progress your career when you’re struggling with your money. Seeing what’s happening in Europe right now and what challenges people are facing I decided to write about something else – fear. And more importantly how it impacts relationships.

I was thinking hard for the last few days if I should write this or not but if this article supports at least a few people then I think it’s worth to come out of my comfort zone.

Since the outbreak of coronavirus into a global pandemic, I can feel the impact on communication and relationships, both at work and personal relationships at home, including ours.

Over the last few days, I noticed we argued  with my partner more often. Far more than usual. We both feel the fear.

When we argue, it’s usually for two reasons:

1. Usually we feel exhausted (and have less patience to listen and understand each other).
2. We hear new opinions where we of course disagree and we are learning how to work with this disagreement.

In situations like this I keep reminding myself that this is not the time to argue.

Choosing how I respond

But what we realised is that we can choose how we respond to it:

• through reviewing the information overload and making fact-based decision,
• to learn from success stories to shift our focus to can-do attitude,
  
• to spend our time creatively and enjoy the time spend together.

It’s not always easy but what I am learning with my other half right now is a skillset that I can transfer into my working life.

• When hearing a different opinion, especially the one that I don’t like or strongly disagree with, I want to choose how I respond to keep calm, communicate facts and focus on listening.
• We are both aware of our intentions and on the same page, but sometimes we just don’t know how to resolve some situations. In that case we tend to learn from people who dealt with that problem successfully. We also learn how to disagree with respect and compassion.
• The last thing I’d like to mention today is that we really enjoy spending our time together right now. We both realise it’s time when we can make our relationship even stronger.

We make the effort to invest our time wisely. We follow the news but only for an hour a day max. We go out for a walk in the nature. We clean our home together. We both read and find the time to be creative. We both cook healthy home-made meals.

Choosing how to respond to events doesn’t just happen

It takes work – it takes time to pay attention to each other and to listen.

It takes effort to acknowledge that it’s not about who is right. This approach does not get us anywhere.

For us it’s about finding what can work and what makes us stronger together.

It was only yesterday when I realised how much our behaviour in relationships reflects in our careers.

Keeping emotions away from fact-based conversations, discovering what works as well as keeping a positive and enjoyable atmosphere at workplace are often key qualities managers are looking for in their employees.

I think these are key qualities of every successful employee and leader. Sometimes even more important then the knowledge itself.

What have you discovered about yourself in these challenging times?

Author: AdriAna Kosovska

Professional and certified coach & founder of ZERO TO DREAM JOB ACADEMY

I work with employees, couples and organisations that care about

Stress reduction |  Talents and strengths development | Dream job