Have you ever realised how much dating, searching for your soul mate and your dream job have in common?
Well, if not let’s grab a cup of coffee and let’s dive into these suprising and powerful insights from dating that can make you and your career flourish
Before I met my fiancé, my dating life used to be a one big rollercoaster. I was stuck in dating phase for years which made me feel like a serial dater without having any magic powers to attract the love of my life. But I didn’t give up. I was stuck and realised I needed help. I found an amazing Love & Relationship Coach. Thanks to her tips, advice and programmes I’m now happily enjoying my days in a loving committed relationship.
In this blog I would love to share with you some helpful and impactful dating tips which can work magic for your career change too.
ALLOW YOURSELF TO FIND YOUR DREAM JOB
During my dating, I discovered that I had an imagine of a Mr Perfect in mind. My mindset work helped me to change my perspective from “Who would I love to go on dates with” to “Who would I be happy to cook dinners with, fall asleep with or generally just be happy around”. I realised that I needed a solid rock I count rely on and someone who would understand my multi-career life. You may remember the famous phrase from Eat, Love and Pray “Liz, you don’t need a man! You need a champion!
Yes, I needed one too! But I wasn’t allowing myself to be with one. I needed a solid rock that would help me lift off all the heavy weight I was carrying on my shoulders as a single person.
Instead of pretending to be an accomplished professional woman enjoying her single life, I finally allowed myself to be imperfect and vulnerable and most of all admitting that being in a committed relationship isn’t a treath to my freedom and career.
What was the impact in my dating? I wasn’t allowing myself to receive any support from my man and naturally I was always trying to proof myself. This is why my dates never progressed further. Once I allowed myself to be vulnerable and imperfect, I became easier to be with and I allowed my other half to step in. So what can you take from this into your career change?
If you are thinking about changing jobs or careers, it’s time to stop pretending.
What you want is not necessarily what you need right now. Be truly honest with yourself. What do you need right now and how can you change your perspective? Do you need pay increase or do you actually need to start working less and enjoy your life more? What kind of job would make you sparkle again? What kind of job would bring a smile on your face again? And most of all, what would it feel like for you to allow yourself to find that dream job and let it come in to your life?
HAVE FUN IN YOUR INTERVIEWS USING ROTATIONAL DATING APPROACH
Rotational dating is where you don’t see one person exclusively, but go out with several people. Rotational dating means not settling down and wasting time with a partner until you’re sure they’re right for you. Just to clarify rotational dating doesn’t mean having one night stands or flings, it’s about recognising who is the right partner that is worth of your commitment.
For a woman in her childbearing years this is a real time saver because you don’t waste time in a relationship that doesn’t have the potential to grow into a committed relationship or marriage (with a man who is serious about you). Instead you’re keeping your options open until your man whose intentions are real wants to snap you off the market. This approach helped me shift my energy. I stopped expecting that I would meet my Mr Right on the next date. I stopped being attached to the results and instead started to enjoy my dates more and noticde how I felt around the man I was on a date with.
So what can you apply from rotation dating in your job search?
As dating is about having fun while getting to know the other person, interviews are about having fun while getting to know your future employer.
You wouldn’t expect to get married on your first date, don’t expect to secure your dream job from the first interview. Instead get out there and enjoy your interviews. Go with an intention to check how does this job feel to you, does it feel like you? How does this company and people appear to you? Do you sense from the interview that you could enjoy working with this manager and colleauge for another 1-3 years?
And I mean it. If you don’t enjoy that one hour of you interview, how can you expect to enjoy working there? So, remember, next time you’re getting ready for your interview relax and have fun. Go and check if it is the right opportunity for you … and if not. Carry on, look for the right employer that will step up to claim you!
DARE TO TAKE YOUR GAME TO THE NEXT LEVEL
Finding your Dream Job is just the same as moving from beign single to dating or from dating to getting engaged. Taking your game to the next level is always scary and exciting at the same time. I remember the time when my other half proposed. It wasn’t a surprise. We talked about it for some time. I asked him for a little favour “Would you ask my mother for her blessing before?” I didn’t expect an approval but I always thought that if a man is serious about me and is willing to share his intentions with my parents, he is genuine and honest. He didn’t run away. In fact, the next day on his way from work he bumped into my mum in the Old Town and asked her to go for a coffee. I guess that want meant to be
Well, why am I waffling about all of this? Talking about engagement was exciting for me. Yet getting engaged was actually scary. I realised it’s the next level. Maybe not much would have changed in our daily life, but I always felt that getting engaged and marriage it’s about more responsibilities. Would I be able to fulfil the expectations and my responsibilities? Do I have what it takes to live and experience Happily Ever After? Excitement was mixing with my doubts and fears. That takes me onto your dream job.
If you are right now not happy where you are in your job, dare to up your career game too – take it from surviving in your job to thriving in your job.
And with that new responsibilities will come. And that’s the exciting part! Yes it will be a mixture of excitement, doubts and fears. What’s going to help? In my views, it’s getting serious about your intentions. Your intentions and commitment can make a difference. Up your game and take your career to the next level. Get serious about your happiness in your career because I truly believe it’s the game you’d be excited to play.
The tricky part is that when you are stuck somewhere where you don’t want to be – be it years lasting dating phase or years lasting unhappiness or boredom in your career – it can be difficult to change your perspective by yourself.
It’s the way of thinking that keeps you holding on where you are right now. I can’t help you with your dating but I can definitely help with changing your perspective to attract your dream job and fulfilling your career dreams.
If you’re feeling that nudge to follow your career dreams, ready to take that next step and claim your dream job, schedule a CAREER DISCOVERY CALL with me where we can address your pain points and together find your next happy career steps. I’d love to help you.
ps: who is the mysterious Love & Relationship Coach? It’s Sami Wunder – a wonderful woman that helped me to navigate through my dating struggles.
Author: AdriAna Kosovska
Professional and certified coach & founder of ZERO TO DREAM JOB ACADEMY
I work with employees, managers and organisations that care about
Dream job & Career Development | Stress reduction | Talents development |